DEEP POINT OF VIEW

I recently gave a presentation to the Las Vegas Romance Writers on writing Deep Point of View. Writing deep places your reader directly in your main character's head. Writing deep eliminates the use of words like he/she thought, felt, saw. smelled, heard. tasted, wondered, etc. Writing deep is showing not telling. When you write deep, you must use the five senses and demostrate emotions. Use this process with your main character and/or villian, but don't use it with your minor characters. You can still tell the mundane things like walking to the store, but when your story takes on important action, write deep.
Writing deep will enhance your characters so that the reader will relate to the action. Remove the words or phrases that keep readers at a distance.

Instead of writing, Nancy was nervous, consider: Nancy's hands shook or her stomach chenched. Show the scene to your reader. Your character isn't thinking about her feelings, she's reacting to the the action that cause her feelings.

It's important to know your characters inside and out to accompolish writing deep. Everything you write is filtered through your character's emotions and eyes. Basic POV is as if you have a camera attached to your character's head. You can only write what they see, hear, sense, and feel. If you keep background information on your characters, you'll know how they will react to any situation. Know their motivation and their flaws.

Instead of writing: "She watched as he lifted the knife and felt absolute terror. He won't stab me, she thought .
For Deep POV: He glared at her and waved the knife. Her stomach clenched. He won't stab me.
Now you're in her head, without adding (she thought.)

Another example:
"He saw a mouse racing across the kitchen and thought he should set a trap." Good. Your character can see. Instead, consider: "James stepped into the kitchen as a mouse raced across the room."Aha, now I know where to set the trap."
See the difference?  I eliminated the 'ing' and the wasted words, saw, and thought. Instead I went straight to the action. The reader knows what James is thinking.
Instead of: Mary struggled as she felt his hands around her neck and wondered if she was going to die.  Consider: His sweaty hands squeezed her neck. She fought to take her last breath. She wouldn't die today. 

Writing deep takes practice, but it's worth the effort.   Joyce Brennan